to move up and down
Save the Stub
I say stupid things about movies so you don't have to.
My Twitter - 140 characters, all played by me. Your move, Eddie Murphy.
Lights, Camera, Stupid!
I’ve been prancing around the internet for awhile now, and I’m mostly known as StereoForBrains around this wild, wild web of ours where I occasional write stupid jokes and talk about music. What you may not know about me is that, sometimes, I have video games for brains; sometimes I have TV for brains; and, in this case, sometimes I have movies for brains. There are a lot of sides to me if you consider four sides a lot. Anyway, sometimes I take my headphones off, put my cell on vibrate (because I’m not an asshole), and go to the movies.
Now, I have three rules for going to the movies, three important S’s that I encourage you to follow.
S the First: Sneak in your own yummies. If you really want a sweaty hotdog in a stale bun, just hang out by Sonic’s dumpster and wait for them to throw one out. Why pay $5? Thirsty for a ripoff? I’m sure any ol’ cornerstore would sell you a soda for $7 if you ask nicely. Just don’t ask for a bite of my pizza or a sip of my tea or whatever far superior, cheaper yummy I’ve managed to sneak in.
S the Second: Stay for the credits. It takes a lot more than the actors and directors to make these movies happen, folks, so why not hang out, enjoy the closing soundtrack, and have a little respect for the unsung heroes of The Biz. Somebody has to get Steven Spielberg his daily whole wheat bagel cut precisely into eight even pieces AND GOD HELP YOU IF YOU FORGET THE CREAM CHEESE! Also, staying for the credits seems to really piss off the guys that clean up afterward and have to wait for you to leave to do so, and I enjoy that because I have black in my heart and a skip in my step.
S the Third and Last: Save the stub. Why? I don’t know. I just like doing it, I guess. I started collecting them one day, not all that long ago, and I intend to keep doing so. Besides, if I stop now, I’d have to change the name of this blog. Nuts to that.
Total stub count so far? Seventeen. That’s $170, enough to buy twenty crusty hot dogs and ten overpriced, probably watered-down sodas. Someone didn’t read the first S…
